I have a problem (got a lot of problems, but today i’m gonna focus on one); I’m to unsettled with myself. I hate when people come up to me and think that I’m interessting (which I am) but I get so nervous some times and just shut down totally. And I guess I just want people to understand me without me saying what I feel, I just want the person who likes me to be so consumed by me, he just wants to hang with me, He calls and texts, just looks at me and just melts, I want to be his one and only desire. And I know what I want, but I can’t get it out, Im used to getting what I want by just looking at it, I make the most men weak in their bones, I just can’t be that girl when I meet someone who acctually wants to talk and finds me interesting weird right?

I woke an hour ago, with this fucking pain in my belly, tooo much oreo’s is not good after not eating any carbs or sugar for 2 weeks. I also felt more bad when i saw my ugly hair this morning, why haven’t i fixed it yet? I look like a caveman! But what should I do, take out the extensions? colour it blonde? cut it really short? I never have issues with my looks (just when I like someone) but that’s another story! Now I’ve been thinking for years about converting into a buddhist but the thing is it’s so hard. I’ve read a lot of buddhist lectures and I get it, but how hard! Only have one sexual partner, No alcohol, no make-up. The thing is I practilly don’t wear any make-up, don’t sex it up that much(?) but I drink, i love having two glasses of wine on my free days just litsening to my 50′s blues and dancing with ,yself and my cup of wine. But the thing is I got so obsessivbe with owning thing, I’m a very material girl, I just don’t feel happy without my Mac, ipad or my cell. That’s what I want to change, just live a simple happy peacefull life, without drama, without having to worry about not having anything. Just do my Yoga and eat my veggies!

Reading a book called Fifty shades of grey, and it´s filthy, haha me gusta! Anyways still a a bit sick so im gonna stay at home and read and look at lolturtle all night haha. Tomorrow I guess i will go out and have a drink or two. omg my life is so boring.

I wonder sometimes why I wasn´t born a man. Cause I often think with my Va-jayjay and I can´t focus on one thing unless it´s boobs, drink sor my favorite sport. The thing I noticed though was I can If I really want to, For example, A really hot guy was working on his car outside my apartment this morning and so I though why not say Hi, so I did and he said Hi but then he just continued with his work. And i thought to myself “IM WAAAAY to hot to be ignored” so i started asking him what the problem was. and he said no the car won´t start so i asked him just to joke “have you put gas i it” and he looks at the gasmeter, and FUCK MY LIFE I was right he havent filled up the tank. So he introduced himself and said if i ever needed a ride I could call him, so he gave me his number and voilá erica the mackmaster strikes again.

Now I won´t call him since I´m a good girl , but I just wanted to see if I had mah mojo leftah! Now my point was, I´m a douche, but If you really want something you go get it girlfriend! even if you have to shake what yo mama gave ya and fake it til you make it!

I´ve been sick for a few days but it´s all good in the hood anyways. Now I´m gonna start to write in english cause some of my peruvian cousins wanted to read my blog and ofcourse I´ll to that for you bitches! I´ve been thinking about getting a tatt over here, I want to do a snake from my hip down to my thigh, but i dunno, gonna think about it! I miss my friends back in sweden soooo much! I miss having a beer with them on our localpub, spooning them and laughing about our one night stands..