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7 reasons why Sweden is so much better than England

Nyheter | 05/07/2018 15:03

Next Saturday Sweden will be facing the English national team in the quarter finals of the World Cup. Even though we're considered as underdogs we wanted to remind you that Sweden is so much better than England. Here's 7 reasons why!

Where should we even begin? It's not like there's just one reason why Sweden is so much better than England.

First off, we've got Ola Toivonen. They've got Harry... who?

But to be fair, there's a couple more reasons that we need to take into account. And since we're going head to head in the quarter finals against "the three kittens", we should all remind ourselves why Sweden is so much better than England.

1. They're still driving on the left side of the road...

Red bus in London.
A bus driving around. On the left side of the road... Image: Pixabay

It might sound weird to some, but they actually do! One could even say that England, as a country, are doing their best to injure tourists with their weird and stupid traffic laws. The world has moved forward – so why don't you? We changed our way of driving in the 50's.

Like seriously, you're already stuck in the past with your football achievements – don't get stuck here for much longer.

2. Who would want to live in a country where it rains... CONSTANTLY.

Piccadilly Circus, London.
An regular English summer day. Image: Pixabay

Who would voluntarily chose to live on an island where the weather varies as much as the weekday in "Groundhog Day"?. NOBODY.

365 days, all year around, rain. 

But the weird part is that when you ask an Englishman what they think that foreigners associate with their country, they answer: "Well... the queen, Piccadilly Circus and Buckingham Palace of course.".

Nobody in the whole wide world associates England with anything except rain, ugly busses and Harry Potter. It's time you realise that.

3. They're a country without any national treasures

An adult and a kid reading Harry Potter.
A kid reading Harry Potter. Image: Clifford Skarstedt TT/TT

The best thing that ever has sprung out of that island is, sadly, not even real. It's MADE UP. You guessed it – we're talking about the before mentioned Harry Potter.

Well done England – your most famous celebrity is a made up wizard who fights ghosts.

4. They're a country without any friends :(

A man holding a flag.
A man with no friends... Bildkälla: Sofia Eriksson/TT

Yep – it's true. England decided to cut the ties with the rest of Europe when they voted to leave the EU. You do remember #brexit right? But hey, it's their loss to be honest. 

Finally we'll be able to hold conversations and meetings in the European Parliament without some englishman raving about taxation on tea, scones and outdated Mr. Bean films.

So thanks!

5. Our royals look way better than yours. Heh.

Prince Carl Philip Bernadotte.
Just look at him... our prince. Image: Thomas Jansson TT/TT

We're just going to leave this here...

6. Cricket... like seriously?

Cricket played on a field.
Cricket is known as the most boring sport in the world. Image: Pixabay

It is well known that the national sport of England, cricket, is considered the most BORING sport in the world. What were people smoking when they came up with it?

Our theory is that they wanted to create a sport similar to our "Brännboll", but somewhere along the way it all really went sideways. The result? Cricket.

Sweden's pretty good at ice-hockey. Why don't you give that a go?

7. They don't have Granqvist, we do.

Andreas Granqvist celebrates.
Andreas "Granen" Granqvist, our beloved team captain. Bild: Maja Suslin TT/TT

During Saturdays fixture it's important to remember, and we know how weird this is going to sound, that the English team lack a player of Granqvists magnitude. The boy from Påarp is somewhat of a national treasure and to be fair maybe he should be considered the eight wonder of the world.

A captain of his stature is something England never will posses.

Harry WHO?

Swedish? Read this.

Harry...