Donald Trump is right – Sweden is practically collapsing!
The President of The United States recently pointed out that Sweden is a country with a lot of problems. It started with a speech in Florida on Saturday, where he referred to some very unspecific events that supposedly occurred the night before.
He later explained that he had seen a news segment on Fox News that reported the horrors going on in Sweden.
On Monday the president tweeted about our country, accusing the media of covering up the situation here.
But you know what Mr. Trump? You are actually one hundred percent right. We do have real problems. Like really big ones – one might even call them HUGE.
Here are a few examples.
1. People cutting lines
We Swedes love to stand in line. We stand in line for EVERYTHING. But we have real problems with people trying to cut them to get ahead, that really pisses us Swedes off. Could you solve this, Mr. Trump?
2. People who decide to take the seat next to you on the bus
Us Swedes need our personal space. Preferably we would like to sit all by ourselves, even better would be to have the whole bus to ourselves. You know our astronaut, Christer Fuglesang, he went to space to get more PERSONAL space! How could we solve this, Mr. Trump? Maybe the U.S could give a few buses with only single seats? That would really fix our situation.
3. We ’’fika’’ too much
We Swedes ’’fika’’ away our lives. We ’’fika’’ everywhere, anywhere, all the time. When someone starts a new job, when someone quits their job, when it’s someone's birthday, when someone is going through a break up, when someone just got married and we even ’’fika’’ when someone dies. It's horrible!
Even our prime minister "fika". It's shameful!
4. We have this thing called föräldraförsäkring
It means that parents can stay home from work to take care of their children. You want to hear the sick part? People actually get paid to stay at home.
Even dads care for their own children! Terrible.
5. We don’t like to drink alcohol
Unless it’s the weekend, because then we go totally bananas. On Friday and Saturday we go crazy and drink EVERYTHING! But you can’t take a glass of wine on a Tuesday because then you’re an alcoholic.
Wohooo!! (but not on weekdays!)
6. We have huge problems with Denmark
Huge! They are so huge that we even built a bridge to Denmark. Makes no sense, right? That’s how crazy Sweden is!
The Danish flag!
7. We eat too many “semlor”
It’s a terrible thing. We eat it on a day called “fettisdagen”. This day lasts for two months. Science can’t explain it!
This is just horrible!
8. Nobody takes the last piece of cake
No matter how big your craving for sugar is, you simply do not take the last piece when there’s cake. You cannot do this, it’s basically illegal.
Here's a Swedish pancake cake. Yep, pancake cake is actually a thing here.
9. But hey, we don’t really like to fight
Please don’t be mad at us. We know that the US has a long tradition of killing people all over the world, but we haven’t been to war for over 200 years. So please, be gentle. Okay?