Popstjärnan Fiona Apple hyllas över hela världen efter att ha ställt in sin Sydamerikaturné. Hennes kärleksbrev till sin sjuka hund har berört människor över hela världen. "Bland det vackraste jag läst", skriver Ricky Gervais.
När en artist ställer in en lång, sedan länge inplanerad turné brukar hen bemötas med svordomar, ilska och påhopp. Men när singer-songwritern Fiona Apple, 35, ställde in sin Sydamerikaturné möttes hon av kärlek, hyllningar och 67 000 likes samt 34 000 delningar på Facebook.
Varför? Jo, för att Apple bestämde sig för att vara brutalt ärlig och skrev ett långt, rörande brev om sin sjuka hund som hon inte hade hjärta att lämna ensam. Hunden Janet, en pitbull, lider av en tumörsjukdom hon inte kommer att överleva.
"Aldrig sett henne ens ryta åt någon"
I brevet förklarar Apple hur hon hittade Janet sönderbiten i en park. Apple var 21 år och Janet fyra månader. Hon hade använts i hundslagsmål för att trigga igång de större hundarna inför de riktiga kamperna.
"Hon när nästan 14 år gammal nu och jag har aldrig sett henne starta ett bråk, bita, eller ens ryta åt någon så jag kan förstå varför de använde henne för det hemska syftet", skriver Apple.
"Jag kan inte åka till Sydamerika"
När Fiona senast kom hem från en turné hade Janet blivit allt sämre. Och eftersom hunden inte kan följa med på resorna väljer Apple att stanna hemma.
"Hon är min bästa vän och min mamma och min dotter, min beskyddare. Hon har visat mig vad kärlek är. Jag kan inte åka till Sydamerika. Inte nu".
Apple hyllas på Twitter
Sedan hon postade brevet har Apple överösts med kärleksförklaringar och lovord. Här är några tweets om brevet.
One of the most admirable, beautiful and heartbreaking things I have ever read: music-mix.ew.com/2012/11/20/fio…— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) November 21, 2012
I am in tears reading Fiona Apple's beautiful note to her fans. I know exactly what she's going through and it's horrible.— Amy Macdonald (@Amy__Macdonald) November 22, 2012
If the story about Fiona Apple canceling her tour to be with her dog when it dies doesn't bring a tear to your eye, we can't be friends.— Bitch (@squirrelsnnuts) November 22, 2012
Läs brevet i sin helhet här:
"It's 6pm on Friday,and I'm writing to a few thousand friends I have not met yet.
I am writing to ask them to change our plans and meet a little while later.
Here's the thing.
I have a dog Janet, and she's been ill for almost two years now, as a tumor has been idling in her chest, growing ever so slowly. She's almost 14 years old now.I got her when she was 4 months old. I was 21 then ,an adult officially - and she was my child.
She is a pitbull, and was found in Echo Park, with a rope around her neck, and bites all over her ears and face.
She was the one the dogfighters use to puff up the confidence of the contenders.
She's almost 14 and I've never seen her start a fight ,or bite, or even growl, so I can understand why they chose her for that awful role. She's a pacifist.
Janet has been the most consistent relationship of my adult life, and that is just a fact.
We've lived in numerous houses, and jumped a few make shift families, but it's always really been the two of us.
She slept in bed with me, her head on the pillow, and she accepted my hysterical, tearful face into her chest, with her paws around me, every time I was heartbroken, or spirit-broken, or just lost, and as years went by, she let me take the role of her child, as I fell asleep, with her chin resting above my head.
She was under the piano when I wrote songs, barked any time I tried to record anything, and she was in the studio with me all the time we recorded the last album.
The last time I came back from tour, she was spry as ever, and she's used to me being gone for a few weeks every 6 or 7 years.
She has Addison's Disease, which makes it dangerous for her to travel since she needs regular injections of Cortisol, because she reacts to stress and to excitement without the physiological tools which keep most of us from literally panicking to death.
Despite all of this, she’s effortlessly joyful and playful, and only stopped acting like a puppy about 3 years ago.
She's my best friend and my mother and my daughter, my benefactor, and she's the one who taught me what love is.
I can't come to South America. Not now.
When I got back from the last leg of the US tour, there was a big, big difference.
She doesn't even want to go for walks anymore.
I know that she's not sad about aging or dying. Animals have a survival instinct, but a sense of mortality and vanity, they do not. That’s why they are so much more present than people.
But I know that she is coming close to point where she will stop being a dog, and instead, be part of everything. She’ll be in the wind, and in the soil, and the snow, and in me, wherever I go.
I just can't leave her now, please understand.
If I go away again, I’m afraid she'll die and I won't have the honor of singing her to sleep, of escorting her out.
Sometimes it takes me 20 minutes to pick which socks to wear to bed.
But this decision is instant.
These are the choices we make, which define us.
I will not be the woman who puts her career ahead of love and friendship.
I am the woman who stays home and bakes Tilapia for my dearest, oldest friend.
And helps her be comfortable, and comforted, and safe, and important.
Many of us these days, we dread the death of a loved one. It is the ugly truth of Life, that keeps us feeling terrified and alone.
I wish we could also appreciate the time that lies right beside the end of time.
I know that I will feel the most overwhelming knowledge of her, and of her life and of my love for her, in the last moments.
I need to do my damnedest to be there for that.
Because it will be the most beautiful, the most intense, the most enriching experience of life I've ever known.
When she dies.
So I am staying home, and I am listening to her snore and wheeze, and reveling in the swampiest, most awful breath that ever emanated from an angel.
And I am asking for your blessing.
I'll be seeing you.